academic euphemisms for masturbating

taken from mcsweeney's lists here. which euphemism is your favorite??

MORE A C A D E M I C

E U P H E M I S M S

F O R  M A S T U R B A T I N G .

(Inspired by this)

BY REID McDONALD AND DOUG McINNES

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Integrating the derivative

C=2∏r

Sterilizing the test tube

Experiment with a scientific control

Dosing out the placebo

Force = Mass x Acceleration

Normalizing the units

Graphing the cosine

Converting from Cartesian to Polar coordinates

Measuring plate tectonics

Posing a hypothesis

Concluding with the empirical method

Proving a theorem

Using your slide-rule

Calculating a logarithm

Posted by Madame Lamb on Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 10:22 AM