Thursday, April 10, 2008

I dream of killing your donkey

Some of you have probably seen this. For those who haven't, enjoy. It's one of my favorite open letters. It came to mind after this dinosaur in my office asked me if I had an email address. Fair question ppppppfffft.


Dear Louis,

You're a very nice man and I do enjoy working with you. The fact that you own a donkey and a rooster makes me laugh. I don't know many people who own a donkey and a rooster who don't also live on a farm. You're sincere and there is not a whit of vitriol in your body. I don't think I've ever seen you mad. Often you share your lunch with me when you can't finish it.

That's why this is difficult for me.

Every time you come into my office I already know what you're going to tell me. You're going to tell me that you sent me an e-mail. And usually, just about the time you're walking into my office, the boingy sound that I set up to alert me that I have received an e-mail is boinging. Or it boings right while you're standing there. Then we say the same things: You say, "I just wanted to let you know I sent you an e-mail!" I say, "Yup, just got it." And then you say, "Great, thanks! Just wanted to let you know!"

I know you're a bit older and not technically inclined. I know you still use words like "facsimile" and "teleconference." But here's the thing with e-mail. When you send me one, I get it. That's the whole point of it. Really. It's why they invented it. So you can send me stuff electronically, and I can get it.

I want you to know I dream of killing your donkey.


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