Tuesday, December 16, 2008

hooking up

here are some excerpts from a recent new york times op-ed  called "The Demise of Dating" by Charles M. Blow.

The paradigm has shifted. Dating is dated. Hooking up is here to stay.

According to a report released this spring there are now more high school seniors saying that they never date than seniors who say that they date frequently. Apparently, it’s all about the hookup.

Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.

Just because more young people seem to be hooking up instead of dating doesn’t mean that they’re having more sex. They’ve been having less sex in general especially with strangers (according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) and are more likely to hook up with a friend.

The pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from those who can’t get a date. Now you just hang out with your friends and hope that something happens.

The cons center on the issues of gender inequity. Girls get tired of hooking up because they want it to lead to a relationship (the guys don’t), and, as they get older, they start to realize that it’s not a good way to find a spouse. Also, there’s an increased likelihood of sexual assaults because hooking up is often fueled by alcohol.


i think this "hooking up" thing is a high school/college phenomena stemming the fact that young adults are getting married later and pursuing careers (ie, not dating to find their spouse until after college). i do foresee many young adults struggling with dating once they realize that they're ready for it (which will probably indicate their being sick of the bar scene).


Ultramafic said...

Indeed. For examples of strugglers, unadapted to the world of non-social-quad courting, look no further than me and my roommate.

Chris said...

i think that the new generation of would-be-daters just doesn't know how to socially interact with anything other than a computer screen. dating used to be about getting to know someone, but that's been eliminated by the facebook and myspace profiles. looks cute in group shots? check. has lost in list of favorite tv shows? check. queue montage of excessive text messaging, boozing and sloppy make outs...

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